It is an open secret - except to doctors and therapists - that transsexuals are about the best informed group when it comes to predicting the reactions of healthcare professionals, knowing their expectations and complying in order to get what we need.


Instead of re-inventing this passage I would like to add another quote from my book (A Matter Of Life) here:


[About dogma and dogmatic treatment:] There is one effect such requirements have: Many of us feel pressured to lie in a psychiatrist's office. This may start with inventing a sexual orientation or not disclosing sexual activities in order to appear as one should. After all in most cases it is not possible to validate such claims and activities anyway. Recollection of the past can at best be verified occasionally and inventing is usually not necessary, overstating, misrepresenting, forgetting or bending reality generally helps enough to get things in line with how they're expected to be. And what we then do outside of this office? It is our own business, isn't it?

We are not looking for any treatment or even treatment-success in these offices, we're looking for a letter to be allowed medical treatment. That's what we need, and we know it. So what do we do? Well, what everybody in such a situation would: Play along nicely! Tell the therapist whatever the therapist wants to hear! It is normal, it is to be expected and if we would not accept this we better should not enter that office in the first place!
Such expectations and our behavioural adaptation obviously ruins the very purpose of therapy if there ever was one, because openness and honesty is what makes psychotherapy work. On the other hand we still need to look open and honest because if we don't it will be assumed that we are 'hiding' something which - obviously - would warrant even more psychiatric treatment!
Many solve the problem by going into these offices and lie right from the start, they have a life's story ready for the therapist! Psychiatrists wonder how it comes that we're all so similar, some truly enlightened therapists even openly ask themselves how it is possible that we are all similar to the point of being virtually identical! Truth is their own expectations of who we are get reinforced every time they see one of us pretend to be what they expect! Because for our own benefit we don't deviate from what they expect, we all present the very same lie to them!!! This is clearly a self-fulfilling prophecy: The expectations of the therapist creates the 'illness' he wants to see! Because we're interested in him finding just what he expects we "play along nicely". If he then finds that we are the same, that we live that standardized, expected lifestyle, mirror any and all of his expectations we get our treatment and our lives! While he gets an even stronger reinforcement of who we are!

Right about here, or maybe 10 lines above, every therapist would have insisted that this isn't possible! He would have pointed out that his therapy is designed to "bring out lies", that it is impossible to spend potentially hundreds of hours in a therapist's office believably being somebody one is not. And I understand, I even see many of the traps laid out for me, but others I do not - and still, I, just as every other transsexual, navigate around these in spite of the therapist believing that this is impossible! Because there's one thing therapists can't see for sheer professional blindness: The people they treat for this condition are all transsexuals!
Transsexuality is the one condition in the books that makes a human being be somebody else to a level of believability unparalleled in any other circumstance. Because transsexuality makes a human being into another human being who is in every respect capable to integrate and function, to express and behave appropriately. In other words: Trans-sexuality is the only ('mental') condition which 'creates' a personality that is in every respect entirely normal to a level where she may in the end easily be more normal than the average "normal person" of the target-group! Only it isn't truly her!
Psychiatrists will still claim that this is impossible. Only they're wrong! The very fact that transsexuality can't be tested for, that we need to self-identify because "they can't find out" is the best possible proof that we manage to evade every trap they lay out for us! After all, if this were not the case a test could be devised easily!

Of course this doesn't work equally well for every transsexual, but the people for whom this doesn't work are typically very obvious anyway (never mind psychiatry almost always misdiagnoses these people, at least initially). But for most this does truly work well enough to do just this: Absolute invisibility! Because we don't play, we live. We are compliant to a level that makes us not act but be who we are expected to be. I was told by society to be male and I accepted this to a level where I was male, believed that I had to be male and lived male. True, this felt wrong, forced onto me and was not fulfilling, but it was not copying, playing or acting!
And now they expect me to be a textbook-transsexual instead, and of course I can do this! I can do this to an absoluteness psychiatrists never deem possible, because I become that transsexual they want me to be! Not as a role as in acting, but as my life! I accept this because this is what they require me to do in order to have any chance of treatment and maybe, finally, a chance to truly become myself!
And just in case: If somebody rather favours the acting-theory (method-acting I presume?), well: When I went into my first hour of counselling I had more than a quarter million hours of training to draw from in believably be somebody I am not and of all the people I had ever met in my entire previous life only 3 had ever "called me" on it!

The absurd part of this is that whoever is better at being the perfect textbook-transsexual typically gets her treatment faster! Or at all! So if somebody fails at being male because she has problems doing this, because she fails at being somebody she is not, then she likely also fails at being that textbook-transsexual for the very same reason and then is not eligible for medical treatment! Because of… Well: If she is incapable to play text-book-transsexual for a therapist then she is automatically deemed incapable to be herself! This truly must be the most prejudice and absurd medical fact-finding and decision-making there ever was!