Yes, there actually is a lighter side to being transsexual - even though it may often be elusive and mostly happens unpredictably. Nevertheless it is real, so I would very much share some of the laughs I had over the years!
All these quotes have been part of my "real life experience", the only changes I have made are abbreviations in the text and changes to maintain the anonymity of people and places.

 

 

[A female friend] You really want to be a woman? [Me] I don’t want to, I just am… [She] Nobody wants to be a middle-aged woman in this society! You must be crazy to want this! [Me] That’s what the psychiatrists say too…

 

[A friend, I start to explain our psychiatric treatment to her, she] …but that whole thing is completely crazy! [Me] Don’t worry, this is only the beginning!

 

[A friend] So you want the second-class treatment in society now? [Me] Yes! Because up from fourth class that’s a two class improvement!

 

[Me] I’m not doing this for a living, I’m doing this for life! [Friend] I suppose it would be difficult to be mental just for a living? [Me] I see you have no idea what some people do for a living these days!

 

[Friend] I haven’t seen you for a while, what have you been up to lately? [Me] Ah, well, the usual… Taking care of the kids, enjoying summer and having a little sex-change…

 

[Clerk at a government office] To have your sex changed in your ID you need a reference from your doctor [Me] Right, here [She] Ok, that looks fine. So what sex would you like your new document to show???

 

[e-mail from my long-distance company in regard to my change-of-name] Before we can implement any changes to your account we need the account-holder to authorize you as a new contact…

 

[Me] Could you possibly stop to hand-out mental-health designations while I am here? [Friend] I’m not talking about you right now…

 

[Neighbour] I have seen your sister yesterday… You’ve never introduced me to her - I didn’t even know you had a sister, but you’re so alike… [Me] Well, that may require some explaining…

 

[On the schoolyard, a group of female 8th graders chatting while I pass by] You know, the women over there, she’s trans? [Somebody else] Yes, I know… But that’s not a big deal, just a few hormones and a little surgery…

 

[To a friend] Look, there’s something about me I’d like to tell you… You see, I am trans… [She] …Well, this explains a lot…

 

[Me] Can I get your phone-number? [Long time friend, male] Of course… It’s the first time in a while a woman has asked me for my phone-number…

 

[Pharmacist] Your insurance card doesn’t work, it comes back ‘invalid relationship to cardholder’ [Me] Try sex ‘male’ [She] Why? [Me] Just try it, please [She, tries it, the claim goes through] Well, it worked. But you should get that changed…

 

[Credit-card customer service] Sorry, we can’t issue you a second card on your name, we don’t do this anymore, you know, security restrictions after 9/11 [Me] Well, it would be on a different name [She] Then, everything is ok…

 

[At the civic centre, I want some documents changed] We don’t do sex-changes here…

 

[My partner, seeing me emerge from the bathroom - after 30 minutes] I hope this is just a sign of puberty and nothing permanent…

 

[A Male Friend] Now that you’ve changed, you really don’t look that bad… [Me] Is it not rather that now you’re looking somewhere else?

 

[He] It’s amazing, nobody seems to notice that you’re not a woman [Me] That would be because you’re the only one around here who thinks I am not…

 

[A Friend] Why do you do this, that mental health crap? [Me] Because I need my surgery [Friend] You’re mental! [Me] That’s what they say too…

 

[A friend, male] You know, ever since you have transitioned there’s something that has been bothering me… [Me] About me? [He] No... What bothers me is more that I no longer have any idea who I am…

 

[He] I think they’re taking us for a couple… [Me] I hope you don’t mind!

 

[On the phone with my phone-company, I had sent in my legal change-of-name] No, we really can’t change the account-holder without speaking TO HIM… He’s a man and you’re a woman and you can’t possibly be both, can you???

 

[Secretary at the consulate] Ma’am you’ve made a mistake, this is your husband’s passport! [Me] No, this is my passport! [He] No ma’am, this is your husband’s passport!!! [Me] No, really, this is mine… And I don’t have a husband, I think I’d know…

 

[On the phone with my car-insurance company, me] Do you need my legal gender or the gender as it appears in my Driver’s License? [She] I have asked, but I don’t think anybody really knows…

 

[The voters office] We can’t change the sex of a voter, only the name, residence and date of birth. But you can register as a new voter. [Me] So I’ll have two votes? [She] No… But there seems to be no way to have your other entry removed…

 

[A friend] Ever since you changed, being with you feels a whole lot different… [Me] You don’t mind, do you? [He] No, no, no… Not at all… [Me] You’re not attracted to me? You know, just in case, I am married, so that’s not going to happen…

 

[Brokerage, clerk] You want to give yourself trading authority on your own account - under a different name??? [Me] Well, it appears to be the next best thing to do if you’re not allowing me to update my name as account-holder…

 

[Government office, clerk] Hallo, how can I help you? [Me] I would like to have the sex on my document changed [She] Ok, I don’t really know how to do that, I’ve never had a sex-change…

 

[Male friend] And how does this... hmmm... feel... now??? [Me] A lot better! [He] ...I still think I don’t get the whole thing...

 

[Clerk] No, you can’t get a new SIN! We only assign new numbers when not getting one would be of a material disadvantage. Something like identity theft where a lot of people may have your SIN and all your personal data wouldn’t match…

 

[Me] I got thrown out at counselling, I am done there. [A friend] Congratulations! I thought from the start that they should stick to people who actually can be helped!

 

[Consulate, secretary] You understand that having your sex changed will result in annulment of your marriage? [Me] Thank you for telling me this but honestly, it’s a little late for such considerations now…

 

[On the phone, a sales-rep] I can’t change your name but I can cancel your subscription [Me] Ok… [He] That’s done! [Me] So now I’d like to subscribe on my new name [He] No problem, you’ll even get an introductory 50% discount!

 

[Me] I am done at counselling. [Friend] Good! You’ve always been a waste of taxpayer’s money…

 

[At the passport office] You’re really… transsexual…? [Me] Well, yes, but we can get gender-corrected passports these days even before surgery… [She] Yes… but I would never have guessed… [Me] Well, that’s sort of the point, isn’t it?

 

[He] Why do you cry? [Me] It’s what women do when things get emotional… [He] You really don’t need to do this that convincingly…

 

[At the Driver’s Licensing Office, she] I am sorry this is taking so long… [Me] Don’t worry, I have gotten used to the experience that in my life things only work on second try…

 

[On the phone with the electoral office, he] I’m sorry we don’t really do this all that often and I must apologize that there really doesn’t seem to be a procedure… [Me] Don’t worry, it was my first sex-change too…

 

[At the passport office, she] So it’s really all done? [Me] Yes, it’s “really all done”! [She] I’ve just never had a… well… before…

 

[Consulate] They ask for your surgeons affidavit to update your birth-record. [Me] There! [He] But this is pretty darn personal…You really want this on public record? [Me] Privacy is a concept transsexuals aren’t entitled to… [He] apparently not…

 

[To a friend] There’s something about me I’d like to tell you: You know, I am trans… [Friend] Finally! You know I thought you’d never get it!